Dilaa

Since this afternoon, I’ve really wanted to cry, but somehow it feels like my tears don’t want to be seen in a crowd, especially not by my mother. They only seem to flow most freely when everything around me is quiet. A few days ago, life still felt fine and normal. But today, there were a few “surprises” from God for me and my family, a rocky road that we have to walk as this year comes to an end. Besides feeling sad, I’m also confused. I can’t fully picture yet how things will unfold in the coming days. But they say we are never burdened with something we are incapable of bearing. So we will get through this well, right? They also say that hardship is always accompanied by ease. All this time, as my mind has been in chaos, I’ve been asking God, “After this, what kind of big gift will be waiting ahead?” At least that thought comforts me and keeps my hope alive. Even though everything I’ve planned feels somewhat impossible right now, I know He is always good. I keep my hopes high that ...

All this time, I thought my love languange was physical touch. But it turns out, now I think mine is more to act of service and words of affirmation (what I give, and what I would like to receive). -udah sih gitu aja, sekian-

I kind of have this habit where at the day before my birthday, I will stay up late until my birthday. While counting down to my birthday, I usually write down my thoughts, wishes and resolutions for a new chapter was also running round my head. It was just always excites me to wait for my birthday. Because whoelse would be excited or would love me that much other than myself! After my birthday comes, I usually pray for myself, for everything that I wanted to achieve, for every hope that I've always been keeping. After that, I lowkey checked on my WhatsApp, JUST IN CASE someone's put a great effort to be the first to wish me for my birthday *lol (But it was always my annoying yet lovely sister who became the first, world should know one of her sweetest side). Yeah, I just really love to read everyone's warm wishes for my birthday. And knowing that a person remember my birthday, is an amazing feeling that never fail to put a smile on my face - even the worst part is I'm n...

Pada hakikatnya, tidak semua hal terjadi sesuai apa yang kita inginkan atau kita impikan. Dalam setiap perjalanan, akan selalu ada beragam kemungkinan, entah baik atau buruknya itu. Tugasnya manusia hanyalah selalu berusaha yang paling baik untuk memperjuangkan asa, melangitkan doa sebanyak-banyaknya memohon kehendak Sang pencipta, dan sisanya berpasrah diri dengan bersiap menerima hasilnya.  Sehingga tidak dipungkiri, perlu ada ruang dalam hati yang disiapkan untuk kecewa. Berbesar hati untuk menerima kegagalan atau kekecewaan tentu bukan hal yang mudah. Namun, menyadari bahwa kita telah berjuang dan mengorbankan banyak hal selama perjalanan, rasanya perlu menjadi penguat hati untuk tidak larut dalam keterpurukan. Sebab, menyalahkan diri dan mengutuk hal-hal yang disesali akan jauh lebih menyakitkan untuk jiwa dan raga yang sudah cukup lelah. Maka duduklah sejenak, proses setiap bentuk emosi dan renungkanlah. Berterima kasihlah pada diri atas perjuangan yang luar biasa, atas setia...